[Exim] *G* mysqld not listening on port 3306

i'm a beginner at mysql server - and i have the following problem i can
connect to my database which is residing on my mail server from my web
server. the my.cnf looks correct and has the port 3306 set , but can't
telnet in eather .

if i use mysql --host=x.x.x.x --port=x.x.x.x --usr=root
it gives me the following error:
Can't connect to MySQL server on x.x.x.x (111)
Many thanks
Greg